10 Meals for people who can't be arsed to cook, eat properly or wash up

This section arises out of my complete disinclination to cook a hell of a lot of the time. I'm sure there are many others out there who feel the same way. These are some of the strategies I've employed over the years to get round the problem of not wanting to cook, not having anyone to do it for me, and needing to eat. I hope you will feel inspired to unleash your true creativity through these suggestions (or at least not be too disgusted or think any less of me).

1. Breakfast cereal

This just has to be top really. My current favourite is Rice Krispies. When I've come home from work and just couldn't be arsed to do anything more sophisticated, pouring myself a bowl, or two, or three has been a reliable "proper meal" substitute on countless occasions. Generates hardly any washing up at all - just a bowl and spoon! If you choose your cereal wisely, you can even dispense with washing up altogether - just eat straight out of the packet - Sugar Puffs are a great candidate for this and even less good for you.

2. Several bars of your favourite chocolate

Another firm favourite after a hard day at the office. Delicious but not nutritious. Still who cares, it's pretty yummo and requires no more effort than ripping open the packaging and shoving it down yer gob...

3. A take away

Finances might make this an option that you don't have too often so best saved for special treats or desperate measures. My favourite takeaway of all time is from my local African - Caribbean. The food is really tasty and food that I love but either don't know how to cook, or just can't be bothered to, except on that extra special occasion that arises once every total eclipse year or so. When feeling particularly slovenly I don't even bother using a plate. This can be a bit self - defeating though as I end up having to sweep the mess up of the floor rather than wash it off a plate. Pizza of course lends itself well to the straight out of the carton policy.

4. Salad in a bag with a little something added

This is a firm favourite of someone who will recognise himself if he's reading this. Get one of those bags of ready to eat salad. Sling in some 100% fat-free chicken (or other substitute for meat). Shake it all about a bit and eat it straight out of the bag. I'm told it's delicious though I haven't tried this one myself.
For a vegetarian/vegan option just leave out the meat.
As you can see the salad-in-a-bag thing is an extremely versatile option that caters for even the fussiest of eaters.

5. Something on toast

Oh oh, fast running out of options now, and having to resort to things that might need a wee bit more effort. Still, toast isn't too onerous I suppose. To keep nutritional value to a minimum dry toast is best but not all that tasty. Spice up the taste a bit by spreading jam and / or cheese spread. If you're feeling particularly energetic use slices of "proper" cheese instead, or whack on the contents of your favourite tinned substance. With just a little application it's possible to get quite creative with toast...